Graham Reid | | 1 min read
As we've mentioned previously, there's no point in asking people to name the worst song ever because someone who thinks they are being clever will say “Anything by Taylor Swift”.
These are people who generally don't listen to anything by Taylor Swift but recoil from her success.
Previous generations have done it with Madonna, U2 and – back in my parents' day – anything by by that nasal tuneless guy who couldn't sing to save himself, Bob Dylan.
So let's not do the “worst song” but instead a song that is toe-curlingly annoying.
For years my vote would have gone to Mickey :“Hey Mickey. Hey Mickey, you're so fine you blow my mind hey Mickey”.
My dad had a particular aversion to Mammy Blue for its sheer repetitiveness. I heard it the other day and can see his point. Mind-numbing.
But by unhappy chance I came upon Easy Love, the 2015 debut single by the English DJ/producer Sigala (known to his family as Bruce Fielder).
It topped the UK singles charts, dance chart and the indie chart apparently.
So it must be good.
But if it is I'm not feeling it. I'm more inclined to “the end of civilisation as we know” end of the spectrum.
And I don't care if it lifts a bit from the Jackson's 5's pretty terrific ABC hit.
It seems that bit has been reproduced – or maybe it's just the repeated screech of the woman singer (maybe Vula Malinga?) which will have you hiding under the covers.
The genre is apparently “tropical house” but no matter where I was – the tropics, the frozen north or in anybody's house – I would not want to hear it again. Ever.
Why is it so annoying?
It's a shallow, soulless digitally enhanced studio confection with the vocal sped up to take it into place where The Chipmunks have inhaled laughing gas.
Just listen to that repetition, more annoying than the sound of dentist's drill . . . and just when you think it has gone away . . .
Someone like me tells you there's an even longer remix.
That's probably what they played at the gym where I heard it.
Oka,y it's not the most annoying song ever, but – and this is my own stupid fault because I made this mistake – if you stop what you are doing (dancing in a club so out of it you don't care what you are hearing) and actually listen to what is being done to you . . . you should be very afraid for the future of the human race.
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You can endure the sheer awfulness of this song at Spotify here. But you have to sit and listen to it until the end.
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